Scary Steps

I’ve been feeling pretty scared about finishing Relay and moving out of Falmouth recently. Definitely letting it stress me out too much. But when it comes to leaving practically everything you’ve known for the past 4 years, it’s not going to be easy.

Moving away from home and uni is always a growth time for anyone. (Although you definitely seem to go backwards at uni as you’re meant to be growing up! … The days of inventing the sport of rolling up hills definitely showed me that…)
It’s an enormous step into life and the world, whether that’s forward our backwards, and it feels absolutely ages ago that I took it.

So much has changed and it’s been a major time of growing in my faith and my understanding of who God is and my relationship with him and how that effects my life too. This is something I could not have anticipated as I was choosing uni. I definitely wasn’t at that point asking God where he wanted me, but I can say for sure now that Falmouth is where I was meant to be.

From starting uni, having experienced God but not really walking with him or fully understanding what it meant to know him, to being asked to be a Small Group leader (so finally picking up my bible) to then getting baptised, leading the CU for a year, going away with OM for 4 months as part of my degree and then staying to do Relay, I could never have anticipated the plans that God had for me.

As I look back there have been so many people placed in my life and so many opportunities that have lead me to where I am now. I am so grateful for the amount of people that have invested in me and helped me along.

And as I look forward, I can’t help but be scared. The unknown is scary. And even scarier knowing I’ll be away from everything and everyone that has helped me in my walk with God while I’ve known Him.

But actually it’s really comforting thinking back over the past 4 years seeing how one thing has lead to another and how I know in another 4 years I will be able to do the same. I could never have planned the last 4 years out!

I don’t know the next step and I don’t know where it will take me. But I know God has brought me this far and he’s not about to abandon me now. Other people might not be there, but He still is. Whether I’m in a big life transition or just walking down the street He’s with me every step of the way. (He’ll even carry me on those days I’m too frozen to take a step.)

I need to stop holding on to the fear that I’m stuck in right now. Need to give up denying that life is going to change. And embrace that just as Jesus had great plans for me these past 4 years, even greater plans are to come. Everything else may be changing but I can rest in the one who doesn’t change. The Alpha and the Omega. The beginning and the end.

I can surrender all to Him, the one who knew me before I was born. The one who knows my paths and walks them with me.

And that’s not easy. I like to have control. I want to know what is next. But I know I can trust the one who created the whole universe and still cares about me. And, thankfully, He will help me in that.

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